Shoulder Fad

I remember the first time I wore shoulder pads out to Civic: lots of strange looks, a few ‘that’s brave’ comments (never sure if that’s a compliment or not), and a bunch guys with gelled hair and fluoro shirts, obviously on their way to Academy, who yelled out ‘shoulder pads, what the fuck?!’

Good question, my freshie friends. Anyone who has opened Vogue or walked past Cue recently would have realised that shoulder pads are back – and in a big way. They’ve cropped up in the collections of everyone from Balmain to Balenciaga, and Rihanna, Victoria Beckham, Lady Gaga and the late, great Michael Jackson have all jumped on the bandwagon. So, what the fuck is the big (shoulder) deal?

Well, the beauty of the shoulder pad is its ability to transform the body. In the wise words of my friend Ang, ‘the bigger the shoulder pads, the smaller everything else’. Few other styles can create instant curves, and even in their subtlest form, shoulder pads will make any waist look tiny. They are the new corset, minus the internal bruising, broken ribs and restricted breathing. What’s not to like?

And honey, they don’t call it the ‘power shoulder’ for nuthin’. A nod to the excesses of the 80s, the new big shoulders can be worn with a hint of irony, or with sincere, hands-clasped, tears-in-your-eyes, ground-kissing R-E-S-P-E-C-T (I’m in the latter category). Either way, they offer a welcome respite from recession induced seriousness, and there’s something about taking up a little more room in the lift that makes you feel like a million bucks.

I still haven’t plucked up the courage to wear my largest pair to Mooseheads, but since they’re en vogue, I’m sure some of you will. I can just imagine the pick-up lines. My, what big shoulders you have. All the better to... And where the rest of that conversation goes is entirely up to you.

“Remember that always dressing in understated good taste is the same as playing dead.”
- Susan Catherine